Did you know that bad communication is the 2nd most common cause for divorce? If your spouse were to say to you right now, “Honey we need to talk!” Would you be happy to talk or would fear come upon you?

And as a result of this fear, a simple, “Honey we need to talk!” turns into a BIG argument. What are you going to do to improve this?

For most married couples… and this is really sad, but it’s true… their odds of becoming an excellent communicator are about as good as their odds of finding a four-leaf clover… in the Gobi desert!

No, not for lack of trying…

… but for lack of knowing.

You can TRY to become an excellent communicator all day long… you can hope your spouse “gets you,” you can take a course on communication, and you can pray until you’re blue in the face…

… but until there’s some method to your madness, you’re just nailing jello to the wall.

So in the spirit of knowledge which *actually* leads to success in this area…

Here are 3 of...

Let’s not kid ourselves, everyone needs LOVE but not everyone understands how to give LOVE. The month of February is known to many as the LOVE month and with valentine’s day in this month, LOVE is usually in the air. Everyone wants to get it right. Everyone wants to LOVE right. However, the only way to LOVE right is to to LEARN how to Love God’s way. It's possible when you learn the secret that I will share with you in this blog. Keep reading.....

Jesus said in Mark 12:30-31 (NKJV) that the two greatest commandments are these, “you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ .... And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Love, love, love. You shall learn to love your spouse as you love yourself. When you have mastered this, you will have mastered LOVING right. It is as simple and as hard as this and I want to help you ...

I know what you are thinking, “How could this be?” But this is the reality for many couples around the holiday season.

For this reason, I understand that sometimes it’s hard being married.

And the difficulties of marriage can easily make you feel tired… discouraged… and even despairing… 

AND it is usually around the holidays, it seems …

That the anger and bitterness can throb so badly…

… that you just start to believe that your spouse is your least favorite person…

 Yes, I said it, "You Least Favorite Person."

If that describes you, or you have been in this season from time to time, keep reading as I would like to help.

The question on the table is this, “What can you do if your spouse happens to be your least favorite person right now?”

Now, if you are a believer of Jesus Christ, and it is your desire to please Him, and you want God’s best for your marriage, then what I am going to share with you is going to make you uncomfortable at first, but hear...

“I didn’t want to do it?” “I tried not to do it?” But after I did it, I was like, “OOPS! Did I do that?” I was truly sorry at what I had done to my spouse. Have you ever been in this place? As a pastoral counselor and coach, I have heard this story from so many couples who are finding it difficult to control their anger.

The bible states in Ecc 7:9 “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger rest in the bosom of fools.” As much as you may NOT want to admit that you are a fool, uncontrolled anger, makes you do foolish and regrettable things. Being angry does not make you a fool, it’s when you act out in a sinful manner, that’s when you become a fool. It is when you say, OOPS! I didn’t mean to hit you, or I didn’t mean to say all those hurtful things. That’s the OOPS, that makes you a fool and that's the OOPS that allows us to make bad choices.

The picture above demonstrates how your choices or foolish actions in the midst of anger can lead to the demise of yourself, ...

Can you truly experience peace in the midst of a storm, such as a hurricane? Many are in the midst of a category 5 hurricane. Prayers goes out but survival, instead of peace, seem to be on the minds of many. What if, there is a way to experience peace? What if the storm is your marriage? Peace is still possible.

Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Hurricane speaks of trouble and the severity of the damages increases as the category # increases. As a result, homes are destroyed, families are displaced, children are misplaced and in extreme cases, death can occur. Once the storm is over, the damages can be assessed, then rebuilding can occur.

Just as with the case with natural storms, such as hurricanes, marriages go through different storms. Are you and your spouse currently in a storm? Or, is there as storm brewing in your marriage? Is it a category-1 storm like communication issues, or a category-5 storm like chr...

You have probably heard this saying, “Hard work pays off.” I remembered this statement becoming so real as I walked across the stage to receive my doctoral degree not so long ago. Every year around graduation season, millions of students celebrate the rewards of their hard work. Some students, however, are not able to reap the rewards of their hard work because of various reasons. I believe this is also true in marriage. Hard work pays off as a husband and a wife celebrate the rewards of their hard work. However, it becomes frustrating to a husband or a wife when it seems as though there are no rewards for all their hard work. I have talked with so many couples and I have concluded that, in marriage hard work do pay off, but the rewards are higher for “smart” work. Keep reading as I am going to share with you how to work smart in four key areas in your marriage.  

Husbands, you need to work smart at loving your wife, God’s way. 1 Cor 13:4-7 states, “Love is patient, love is kind. I...

Okay married folks, the question is, “Is the grass greener on the other side?” I am sure you have heard this statement before. I’m sure this has crossed your mind. Have you ever looked at another couple and said, “I wish my husband could be like her husband or I wish my wife could be more like his wife?” This statement can appear to be true when you are not satisfied in your current marital situation. Before we go any further, let me unpack, what I usually like to call, “the marriage garden.”

I love performing weddings and from the moment the bride enters the room, walks down the aisle, and meets the groom, the entire room is in awe. Why? Because, marriage is a beautiful thing and sometimes I like to think of marriage as a beautiful garden. Almost every marriage starts out as this beautiful marriage garden. The flowers are blooming, the trees are well groomed, the grass is trimmed and ultra-green, and there are butterflies. The love is strong and the glow from the husband and wife ...

Can two walk together, unless they agreed? This question has been on my mind and I am sure on the minds of some of my readers. What I find very interesting about marriage is that God allows two persons, (male and female) to be joined together in marriage and then He says, "I want you two to just, get along. Not just to get along, but to get along until death do you part." However, many couples find it very difficult at best, to "get along" with their spouse. If that describes you, keep reading.

After being married for over 12 years, helping numerous couples, and extensively researching marriage for my doctoral studies, I have found that every successful marriage includes 3 areas of agreement between the husband and the wife.

Agreement #1. God is the supreme change agent for my spouse.

This agreement is huge in successful marriages. Romans 12:2 states, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good...

The desire to be #1 is heartfelt. Achieving such a goal requires hard work, dedication, and a genuine love for what you would like to achieve.

What if, this year your new year's resolution is to be #1 on the "Best Marriage" List? What would this look like? What would this require? This would require the husband to do all that it takes to be the best husband possible, and the wife to do all that it takes to be the best wife possible.

This is easier said than done when marriages are in distress. To get to #1 on the "Best Marriage" List will require a strategic plan on conquering distress.  My heart to help couples get to #1 is expressed in my new book, Conquering Distress For A Better Marriage: Transformation That Produces Lasting Change, which has hit #1 on Amazon's Best Sellers List.

In this book you will discover:

• how to communicate effectively,
• how to find peace through forgiveness,
• how to implement a step by step guide to conflict resolution,
• how to build a new level of int
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How do you know if you are sincere in your apology? Have you ever said, “I’m sorry,” only to see the same pattern of behaviors resurface? Are you fed up with this negative cycle? If so, you need to understand the “Apology that Counts.”

It is important to apologize when necessary. However, the apology that counts should not be manipulated. It should come from a place of understanding accountability. Accountability is when you are taking full responsibility for the negative behavior.

Apologizing is an important part for resolving issues in marriage. For Christians, an apology should mean more than, “I’m sorry.” It should come from deep within your heart from conviction.

The Bibles teaches, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation without regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Cor 7:10). Godly sorrow is guilt over sin (offending and hurting God), which leads to repentance. Repentance is saying, “I was wrong to God. If I could do it all over again, I would do it G...