How To Work SMART In Your Marriage........

You have probably heard this saying, “Hard work pays off.” I remembered this statement becoming so real as I walked across the stage to receive my doctoral degree not so long ago. Every year around graduation season, millions of students celebrate the rewards of their hard work. Some students, however, are not able to reap the rewards of their hard work because of various reasons. I believe this is also true in marriage. Hard work pays off as a husband and a wife celebrate the rewards of their hard work. However, it becomes frustrating to a husband or a wife when it seems as though there are no rewards for all their hard work. I have talked with so many couples and I have concluded that, in marriage hard work do pay off, but the rewards are higher for “smart” work. Keep reading as I am going to share with you how to work smart in four key areas in your marriage.  

 

Husbands, you need to work smart at loving your wife, God’s way. 1 Cor 13:4-7 states, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy; it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” In other words, love seeks the highest good for your wife. The question is, "Do you truly want the best for your wife?" Husband, I want you to take a moment and answer that question.

 

The bible also teaches in Eph 5:28-29, “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” Husbands, the “smart” advice I can give you is this, “Love your wife the way you would want to be loved.”

 

Now wives, you need to work smart at respecting your husband. The bible states in 1 Pet 3:1-4, “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

 

Wives, you can work smart by showing respect to your husband through submission. You submit to your husband’s position as head of the home. It is not “anything goes” submission, but it is submission, as unto the Lord.

 

The bible also teaches that as a wife, you must also show respect through your behavior. Behavior is what you do and what you say or  sometimes, what you don’t say. The questions I have for you wives, "How do you treat your husband?" "How do you speak to him?" "How is your non-verbal communication- attitude?" Take a moment to answer these questions. As you answer these question, remember, respect, which begins in the heart is generally expressed through a gentle and quiet spirit. The “smart” advice for wives is this, men receive respect as love.

 

Now some smart advice to both the husband and the wife. Work smart at communication. Did you know that communication is the lifeblood of marriage and communication? Actively listen to each other while genuinely wanting to understand each other.

A few good proverbs to remember are as follows: Proverbs 15:1 state, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 18:13 state, “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.” Interrupting each other in the middle of a statement will create conflicts.

 

The “smart” conflict resolution advice I can give to husbands and wives comes from James 1:19, which states, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” When conflicts arise, don’t criticize and blame each other, but sit down and try to resolve them as quickly as possible. In the resolution phase, learn how to truly forgive each other.

 

I have saved the best “smart advice” for last. Both you and your spouse must work smart at sexually satisfying each other. 1 Cor 7:3 states, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”

 

It is very important to understand this. God designed sex for marriage. Sex glues you and your spouse together, physically, spiritually and emotionally. God also designed sex for procreation, for physical pleasure and for gratification. Sex is good in the covenant of marriage. So, enjoy each other, but also protect your marriage from sexual immorality, for God says in Heb 13:4, “Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Have fun with each other, as a healthy sex life can be a preventative for sexual immorality.

 

Now, you have what it takes to “work smart” in your marriage. Working hard in your marriage is good, but working hard and smart produces greater rewards.

 

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