3 Areas of Agreement That Guarantees A Successful Marriage!
Can two walk together, unless they agreed? This question has been on my mind and I am sure on the minds of some of my readers. What I find very interesting about marriage is that God allows two persons, (male and female) to be joined together in marriage and then He says, "I want you two to just, get along. Not just to get along, but to get along until death do you part." However, many couples find it very difficult at best, to "get along" with their spouse. If that describes you, keep reading.
After being married for over 12 years, helping numerous couples, and extensively researching marriage for my doctoral studies, I have found that every successful marriage includes 3 areas of agreement between the husband and the wife.
Agreement #1. God is the supreme change agent for my spouse.
This agreement is huge in successful marriages. Romans 12:2 states, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” The key here is to understand that true change in your spouse begins when he or she has a changed mind. A changed mind then produces a changed heart which then produces changed behavior. The truth of the word of God is able to change a mind. Even though you may be tempted to manipulate and in some cases coerce change in your spouse, I have recognized that this only drives a deeper wedge between the husband and the wife. My advice to you is this, “Stop trying to change your spouse and come in agreement that God is the supreme change agent for your spouse.”
Agreement #2. Divorce is not an option.
Have your ever-threatened your spouse with the “D” word, divorce? A Christian marriage should be viewed as a covenant, not just a contract. Both are forms of commitment. Contractual commitment depends on exchange between a husband and a wife. When needs are not fulfilled, contractual commitment can erode. On the other hand, covenantal commitment is based on the biblical principle that marriage is a union of man and woman before God. Matthew points this out when Jesus said, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt 19:4-6 NJKV).
Covenants are stronger binding than contracts. The key here is that you must recognize that God blesses and treasures those who keep his covenant. Moses points this out in Exodus 19:5 (NKJV) when God said, “if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people.” The same is true with God and his marriage covenant. My advice here to you is this, “Don’t even think about it!” Instead, think about ways to resolve the issues to bring about the desired change.
Agreement #3. There are hidden solutions to every problem.
Even though we can agree that there are solutions of every problem, only couples who understand they are hidden solutions to every problem will seek out additional help. Someone who is trained and experienced with marriage counseling/coaching or mentoring, can help you to seek out these hidden treasures. It is amazing when a husband or a wife can recognize that, “With God, all things are possible” (Matt 19:28).
Listen, I understand that sometimes it’s hard being married.
And the difficulties of marriage can easily make you feel tired… discouraged… and even despairing… about ever having a healthy, happy marriage.
At some point…
The wounds can hurt so much… the anger and bitterness can throb so badly… and the feelings of sadness, and being misunderstood, and loneliness can ache so deeply…
… that you can start to wonder if things will EVER change.
… if you’ll EVER have anything but a cold, distant marriage
Tragically…
MANY couples quietly sit in that place, for decades.
And, if that describes you, I have great news. I am opening up my schedule for a limited time to help as many couples as possible to experience their Marriage Breakthrough.
Schedule your FREE Marriage Breakthrough Strategy call NOW before all the spots are gone. On this call, I’m going to help you design a strategic marriage plan for your better marriage. If you desire the extra help to help you uncover the hidden solutions to your problems, I will also see if you might be a right fit for my Marriage Enrichment Coaching program. You will be able implement the 3 areas agreements through marriage enrichment so you can overcome distress and experience peace, love and intimacy, you have always wanted.
Looking forward to speaking with you.
>>Click here to schedule your FREE call<<
Dr. Delroy Fredericks
May your relationships be blessed.
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