OOPS! Did I Do That? Am I A Fool?
“I didn’t want to do it?” “I tried not to do it?” But after I did it, I was like, “OOPS! Did I do that?” I was truly sorry at what I had done to my spouse. Have you ever been in this place? As a pastoral counselor and coach, I have heard this story from so many couples who are finding it difficult to control their anger.
The bible states in Ecc 7:9 “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger rest in the bosom of fools.” As much as you may NOT want to admit that you are a fool, uncontrolled anger, makes you do foolish and regrettable things. Being angry does not make you a fool, it’s when you act out in a sinful manner, that’s when you become a fool. It is when you say, OOPS! I didn’t mean to hit you, or I didn’t mean to say all those hurtful things. That’s the OOPS, that makes you a fool and that's the OOPS that allows us to make bad choices.
The picture above demonstrates how your choices or foolish actions in the midst of anger can lead to the demise of yourself, your spouse, and even your marriage. This is not God's will. So, I want to help you to learn how to control and overcome your anger today. I must admit, we all suffer with finding ways to control our anger, but I want to assure you that this can be done. For, with God, all things are possible.
An understanding and application of the following Scripture is very helpful. Eph 4:27, states, “Be angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” Here’s how to understand and apply. The first part of the verse, “Be angry and sin not,” speaks of “control.” The second part of the verse, “let not the sun go down upon your wrath,” speaks of "communication through discussions."
Here’s the action step verse that will change and transforms your relationship when applied with Eph 4:27. James 1:19 states, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Control comes when you listen more, process slowly what you have heard, and decide to respond in actions or words in a way that will build up and encourage your spouse. WOW.
Anger is best controlled this way. Controlled anger produces better communication and allows a husband and wife to have healthy discussions about any situation. Discussions in the home can only be accomplished when a husband and wife listen to each other, to find out what is right. Otherwise, arguments will occur when a husband and wife become angry, just to find out who is right. Discussions are always better than arguments.
If you have found this information helpful, share this with someone. For more tips, tool and resources about marriages, head over to www.hopeconquersd.com.
If you would like me to help you discover how to control your anger and communicate more effectively, schedule a CALL now. You will leave the call energized, inspired and with a proven plan on how to enrich and transform your marriage. May your relationship be blessed.
Dr. Delroy Fredericks