You have probably heard this saying, “Hard work pays off.” I remembered this statement becoming so real as I walked across the stage to receive my doctoral degree not so long ago. Every year around graduation season, millions of students celebrate the rewards of their hard work. Some students, however, are not able to reap the rewards of their hard work because of various reasons. I believe this is also true in marriage. Hard work pays off as a husband and a wife celebrate the rewards of their hard work. However, it becomes frustrating to a husband or a wife when it seems as though there are no rewards for all their hard work. I have talked with so many couples and I have concluded that, in marriage hard work do pay off, but the rewards are higher for “smart” work. Keep reading as I am going to share with you how to work smart in four key areas in your marriage.  

Husbands, you need to work smart at loving your wife, God’s way. 1 Cor 13:4-7 states, “Love is patient, love is kind. I...

Okay married folks, the question is, “Is the grass greener on the other side?” I am sure you have heard this statement before. I’m sure this has crossed your mind. Have you ever looked at another couple and said, “I wish my husband could be like her husband or I wish my wife could be more like his wife?” This statement can appear to be true when you are not satisfied in your current marital situation. Before we go any further, let me unpack, what I usually like to call, “the marriage garden.”

I love performing weddings and from the moment the bride enters the room, walks down the aisle, and meets the groom, the entire room is in awe. Why? Because, marriage is a beautiful thing and sometimes I like to think of marriage as a beautiful garden. Almost every marriage starts out as this beautiful marriage garden. The flowers are blooming, the trees are well groomed, the grass is trimmed and ultra-green, and there are butterflies. The love is strong and the glow from the husband and wife ...

Can two walk together, unless they agreed? This question has been on my mind and I am sure on the minds of some of my readers. What I find very interesting about marriage is that God allows two persons, (male and female) to be joined together in marriage and then He says, "I want you two to just, get along. Not just to get along, but to get along until death do you part." However, many couples find it very difficult at best, to "get along" with their spouse. If that describes you, keep reading.

After being married for over 12 years, helping numerous couples, and extensively researching marriage for my doctoral studies, I have found that every successful marriage includes 3 areas of agreement between the husband and the wife.

Agreement #1. God is the supreme change agent for my spouse.

This agreement is huge in successful marriages. Romans 12:2 states, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good...

The desire to be #1 is heartfelt. Achieving such a goal requires hard work, dedication, and a genuine love for what you would like to achieve.

What if, this year your new year's resolution is to be #1 on the "Best Marriage" List? What would this look like? What would this require? This would require the husband to do all that it takes to be the best husband possible, and the wife to do all that it takes to be the best wife possible.

This is easier said than done when marriages are in distress. To get to #1 on the "Best Marriage" List will require a strategic plan on conquering distress.  My heart to help couples get to #1 is expressed in my new book, Conquering Distress For A Better Marriage: Transformation That Produces Lasting Change, which has hit #1 on Amazon's Best Sellers List.

In this book you will discover:

• how to communicate effectively,
• how to find peace through forgiveness,
• how to implement a step by step guide to conflict resolution,
• how to build a new level of int
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I am sure that everyone has a deep desire for ORDER in your Home and even more so, if you have children. Every home has structure. Where ever there is structure, there is order. Where ever there is order, there are people placed to positions.

In marriage, there is structure and order. God’s structure and order for the family is, “Christ is head of man, man is head of wife, then the children follow” (1 Cor 11:3). God has placed the husband, wife, and children in different positions in the family, so that when working together, the family will experience peace, joy and happiness.   

Structure and order also include rulership. After God created this great universe, he then created man and said, “have dominion over,” or rule over. It was at this time, responsibility was given. So, because the structure and order on the home is, Christ is head of man, man is head of wife, then the children follow,” then there must be responsibilities attached to the husband, the wife, and the childr...

How do you know if you are sincere in your apology? Have you ever said, “I’m sorry,” only to see the same pattern of behaviors resurface? Are you fed up with this negative cycle? If so, you need to understand the “Apology that Counts.”

It is important to apologize when necessary. However, the apology that counts should not be manipulated. It should come from a place of understanding accountability. Accountability is when you are taking full responsibility for the negative behavior.

Apologizing is an important part for resolving issues in marriage. For Christians, an apology should mean more than, “I’m sorry.” It should come from deep within your heart from conviction.

The Bibles teaches, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation without regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Cor 7:10). Godly sorrow is guilt over sin (offending and hurting God), which leads to repentance. Repentance is saying, “I was wrong to God. If I could do it all over again, I would do it G...

To build a lasting marriage means, to build your marriage on a lasting foundation. I have heard some people say, “My marriage is built on love and trust.” Others have said, “My marriage is built on peace and happiness.” Some would not dare say, even if true, “My marriage is built on lies, deception, money, lust and selfishness.” What matters is what God says a marriage should be built on.   

In Matthew 7:24-26, Jesus speaks of two builders. One who built his house on the rock and one who built his house on the sand. Then the rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew on both houses. However, only the house that was built on the rock did not fall.

It is the same with marriages. When issues, problems, and the pressures of life comes against your marriage, only those marriages built on the rock, which is Jesus, will be able to stand.  

I have found that it is okay to seek out help in the building process. Have a mentor or coach to help you along the way. Be apart of a small grou...