Unmet Expectations - How to Minimize Disappointments
Have you ever been DISSAPOINTED because of UNMET EXPECTATIONS? Are you at the point where you have lowered your expectations in hopes to lower your disappointments? Do you sometimes feel that your spouse expects too much from you?
You are not alone. In this blog, you will learn the key to getting what you expect and how this drastically reduces disappointments from unmet expectations.
An expectation is basically a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. Remember when you were dating, you had certain expectation of him or her. You may have expected to be treated a certain way. Many expected to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. Many would say, these are healthy expectations. However, as the relationship grew towards marriage, you may have had certain expectations about each other's roles and responsibilities. Regardless of your expectations, one thing many relationship experts agree on, is that, “Expectations in a relationship are subjective, biased and can differ from person to person.” The issue comes when these expectations are unmet which then leads to disappointments.
What many couples fail to understand is that unmet expectations come because of a lack of agreement around that particular expectation. When there is no agreement, expect disappointments. Hence, the key to getting what you expect is agreement around that expectation. Hence, the key to getting what you expect is agreement around that expectation. (NO, it’s not a typo, I intentionally did that). Did you get it?
The question on the table is, how can a couple come into agreements around expectations? As with many things in a relationship, communication is key. Where many couples fail is when one person assumes the other person should know what’s in their head, without actually expressing it.
PAUSE- Have you ever been upset at something you thought your spouse should know, but you never actually sat down and talked about it? If you answered “YES,” then keep reading.
The key to minimizing disappointments is simply taking the time to sit down and express the expectation and coming to an agreement. The details of what that conversation looks like is broken down into three simple steps:
- Examine the expectation
- Express the expectation
- Make an agreement around the expectation
I understand that couples with communication issues may find this exercise challenging but the good news is that once you try this and an agreement is made, it drastically reduces disappointments.
If you have found this information helpful, share with someone. If you desire to enhance your relationship, consider being a part of the growing HC Marriage Enrichment Institute and get instant access to all trainings, including one of the #1 training called, “Expectations: The Key To Getting What You Expect,” and all upcoming LIVE monthly marriage enrichment trainings.
Hope to see you on the inside!
Dr. Delroy Fredericks