Emotions are DUMB!
Caught your attention? Good! But really, emotions are dumb and I will prove it to you. If you are in a relationship where it seems like negative emotions are causing more harm than good, or if it is your desire to learn how emotions work, this blog is for you. I will explain why emotions are DUMB and how you can take back control of your life which will then help enrich any relationship, including your marriage.
If you are honest, you would have to agree that your emotional state affects you and the people around you. Your emotions can be generated from within or they can be unloaded on you from someone else. This means that if you are in a bad mood, you can actually unload your emotions on your spouse and children. Have you ever noticed that when you are in a bad mood it can seem like the whole house is in a bad mood? The reason for this is because emotions fill up our space. Emotions can be positive (joy, peace, love) or negative (angry, sad, scared) and the feelings associated with your emotions are real.
The issue with negative emotions is that when someone “flips,” they can become an out-of-control person by yelling or screaming or throwing objects across the room or even at others. Does this sound like someone you may know? Does this sound like you? If so, keep reading, because what I will share next is what I wish someone had taught me a long time ago. That is, “Emotions are DUMB!”
Oops! I said it again, so let me explain what I mean.
Did you know that emotions are useless unless you tell them what to do? Did you know that your emotions are connected to your thinking? Did you also know that you have a choice as to what you will do with your emotions? If you have answered “no” to any of these questions, keep reading as I am going to prove to you why emotions are DUMB.
Let us say you are in a heated argument with your partner and emotions are all out of control. Everyone is screaming, (passionately expressing yourself at a very high-pitched tone) and nobody is listening (not because you don’t want to, but because it is so loud). Then, your phone rings. It is a call you have been expecting and must take. You decided to walk away, picked up your phone and calmly say, “Hello” as you think to yourself, “I need to be calm and pleasant in answering this phone.”
Wow, what just happened?
This example points out that you made a choice to tell the emotions of rage and anger to take a seat, while you also made a choice to engage the more positive emotions for the call.
Here is the “aha!”
Different thoughts produce different emotions, which produce different behaviors and you are in control to tell emotions what to do because, "emotions are DUMB!"
As an action step, the next time you interact with your partner or anyone and you recognize negative emotions are beginning to surface, tell your negative emotions to take a “seat” while you engage more of your positive emotions by saying, "I will choose to be calm, peaceful, energetic, etc. This will change the dynamics of your relationships.
If you have found this information helpful, please share with others couple. For more relationship and marriage tools, tips and resources, visit www.hopeconquersd.com
To get instant access to the marriage enrichment training called, “How to Manage your Emotions: Control is Possible,” become a part of the growing Hope Conquers Marriage Enrichment Institute community by starting your free trial today. You to get the step-by-step guide and worksheets on the 5 powerful “I will” strategies to gaining control of your emotions and your life.
Applying this will take your relationship to the next level and you will be a more fun and positive person to be around. You will also get the opportunity to be a part of our LIVE monthly Q&A trainings to get all your questions answered. Hope to see you on the inside!
By Dr. Delroy Fredericks