Don’t Talk to Me like That - 3 Ways To Improve Your Communication
If you have ever been stopped dead in your tracks with these words, “Don’t talk to me like that,” trust me, you are not alone. I want to help you position yourself in such a way, so that you can reduce hearing these dreaded words and improve your communication skills, all at once. Here are the best 3 ways to improve your communication now!
- Adjust your tone. Did you know that tone in which you communicate can determine if an argument may arise? A good proverb to remember is “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1). Over the years of counseling couples, I have noticed that the spouse who tries to stay calm and collected is eventually instrumental in calming the other spouse down. I have also noticed that the spouse who is loud may have some great, valid and helpful points, is quickly be dismissed because of his or her loud tone. The nugget here is this, you are more likely be given a listening ear is you watch your tone.
- Watch your non-verbal behaviors. This is not surprising after noting the statistics: “nonverbal communication accounts for 58 percent of the total message. Tone of voice makes up 35 percent of the message. The actual words you say account for only 7 percent of the total message.” Sucking your teeth, rolling your eyes, turning away your face, walking away and using hand gestures are all sure ways of escalating the conflicts. Reduce these and your communication will drastically be improved.
- Don’t interrupt your spouse. Proverbs 18:13 states, “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.” Interrupting each other in the middle of a statement is a sure way to create a conflict. A reminder of James is also very helpful here, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). Instead of trying hard to get your point across by thinking of what you are going to say next, by interruption, by shouting or by leaving, try to understand your spouse. Listen and repeat what your spouse is saying until your spouse is sure you understand. This will make you spouse more willing to listen to you.
Follow these 3 tips and start improving your communication today. Try it out and share this with someone you know.
If you would like more tools, tips and training on this, visit www.hopeconquersd.com for more information and receive your special FREE gift. I have unpacked this and more in a new special report, “How To Change and Improve Your Marriage Fast. >> Click here to receive your FREE gift. <<
By Dr. Delroy Fredericks