Focus on the Family : What Children Really Need

Marriage is BIG, but for those of us with children, we would have to agree that parenting is also BIG. As you strive to enrich your relationship with your spouse, it is also important to “Focus on the Family.” This means you must learn how to shift roles from husband and wife to father and mother. Once the roles are switched to father and mother, you must understand what children really need in a family.

The basic needs for children in the family are food, clothing, shelter and education (biblical and academical). Once those are checked off, it is the responsibility of the parents to mold that child to become a full functioning adult who loves God and loves others. The bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; Even when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov 22:6). Without kids, this verse seems simple enough but with kids, things can get a little complicated. I know, many parents are nogging their heads in agreement. However, this can change when you understand what I will now share with you.

To truly train up a child you need to have a connection to God and a connection to that child you are training up. I call your attention to the commands of God recorded in Deuteronomy 6:4-7.

The Lord our God is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on their children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Here is wisdom. Parents must be connected to God to effectively be able to train up their children. The connection to your children comes when you take the time to teach your children what matters to God. This can be done when you “talk” to them, “walk” with them, “lie down” with them and “get up” with them. A key insight is that the frequency of “talking” and “walking” with that child should be as often as possible. The more a parent does this, the stronger the connection grows between the parent, child and God. It is from that connection, a parent must train up in all other areas of life (teaching how to cook, clean, play a sport, etc).

I understand that the demands of life may not allow for as much connection time. Busy schedules with work, school, ministry and business are real and must be taken into consideration. But I need you to FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS.

Since the focus is on the family, that means that you will have to be intentional about setting up connection times with your children. This time could be as little of 10-15 mins daily. No cheating, I mean undivided attention (NO multitasking - kids recognize this). It is in these times, your bond grow, communication skills are enriched, and you will get to learn your child’s personality. What many parents do not know is that this connection time helps a child to feel a sense of belonging and significance in their family. Once these needs are met, a child’s behavior improves.

As an ACTION STEP, schedule your first 10 minutes with you children this week. Tell them you are going to be intentional about spending 10–15 minutes daily with them to connect more. Use this time to do something they may like to do. For example, play a game with them or watch one of their show.

If you have found this information helpful, share this with someone. It is my goal to help marriages and families to strive. You have learned about what children really need. We will we teaching on topics like this and more in the Hope Conquers Marriage Enrichment Institute (HCMEI). To commemorate HCMEI launch on 2/21/21 @ 21:00hrs (9pm EST), register for the FREE marriage enrichment training, “#1 Need for Husband and Wife.” Click here.